I don't know how to describe the car thing. Basically, right now, if my goal is to repair this R then viewing us as a single car family (not MY car) then it's this back and forth. What I am doing is saying nicely when I need a ride and/or when I will be taking the car with some advanced notice. As long as I don't do it in a pissy "MY car" way there isn't much grief for either of us. Hence why I'm taking the car this weekend and she can deal with figuring out rides, I gave her plenty of notice that I'll be taking it.

Quite bluntly, if I go into "MY car" mode I might as well just not bother trying to repair the R, give her notice that she needs to move out, and in 30 days if she's not evict her. I might as well just give up.

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln