How to respond to this

[Hopeful84]

Sorry, butting in because I just read this entire thread..

: )

I agree with Starsky, BREATHE.... and stop talking and start doing... not to be mean.. because I get you.. I totally get you... I am you...

I am a great person with words... not so much with the following through on the actions part... but trust me, you can yell,scream, write 500 page letters, threaten divorce...and it means.. NOTHING...

it is when you are silent... when you are seemingly okay without them... when you are happy... content... not righting.. not lashing out... not at all concerned... that's when they take notice...

I did the same thing early on... I thought I was fighting for my husband everytime we sat down for a two hour conversation of me repeating the same things, asking the same questions- him not knowing what he wanted... and I guarantee that he probably didn't hear half of it... and that's okay...

I don't really know if this advice is even really helpful.. but I wanted to let you know, you aren't alone.. its okay to hurt.. its okay to want to threaten things.. but perhaps its better to write those feelings in a journal... or when you feel the urge to lash out or any of that.. take up a new hobby or past time... I have learned, unless the cheating spouse wants to talk about the marriage... don't even bring it up... let them come to you..

okay this is all over the place.. but you get the idea