Was this them the whole time ??? My 2nd thread

[SunnyBurst]

13 months is a long time, heck, 1 month is...don't beat yourself up. I only now know that W's mlc probably started in 2008...I figured out it was mlc about 13 months ago with her dive into phase 2 BD...I did have a pre-game warm-up in 2009 where I did learn a lot, so this second time around I got up to speed and open to new ideas, ways of looking at things, etc faster because of phase 1.

One thing I can verify, if you interrupt the process of mlc, before they are done within, it just comes back again harder and more furiously, my W's sure did....do not interrupt the process.

maybe I shoulda said let's get workin on our own !! -- cuz I think that's why she told me - but I am so unsure these days I am afraid to say anything --

Just my opinion, but, umm, now is not the time to be making babies...even if it would seem to pull her back in...see what I wrote above regarding the process. Right now, from my experience, the LESS you say and do, the better. She has to learn things herself, like having a raging fiancee of neighbor man going off on her, for example...YOU cannot teach her any lessons right now...she is going to have to learn everything the hard way.

Get out of her way.
Get out of your own way.

If you cannot wait, that is okay, it is your choice. Believe me, I have been at the point of quitting many times, I get it, and will never judge someone who needs to move on...that is why the vets here say that, in the end, the LBS does have the power...to stay, go, accept the WAS back, or not, etc.

I think the timeline for my wifes MLC is 9/2010 denial - March 2010 anger - replay I am not sure of really experts say it's when you get the ILYBIANILWY speech which happened in 10/11 but the next day she cried her eyes out and the next 6 weeks we were like newlyweds - I can see where you are saying that if they come out to soon it can backfire - during this time she was buying me presents, waiting in bed for me all the time, being loving and caring around 11/24/2011 she started to get depressed again - I would think replay stated 1/18/2012 with the behavior getting awful after she asked for a seperation on 3/31/2012 so I think she has been in replay started between 1/18/2012 and 3/31/2012 - the last time we made love was 1/29/2012 and I only remember that because I took her out to the city for a special night but the sex was awful I was scared to do anything and I was very stiff - anywho.

I think
Get out of her way.
Get out of your own way.
should be a DB montra !!

I am gonna be 50 next year and as I said I want more kids - that is gonna weigh heavy on my decision. But as for now I am standing.

Thanks T2

Sunny