You know, there is something else bothering me. I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt I need legal help. I do. However, all the people in my life are pushing me to get a D very quickly. One person even said, the one who jumps first, wins. I thought to myself, wins? What do they win? There is no winning in this situation. Only losers. Will I likely wind up with a D? Probably. However, I want it to be on my terms, when I am ready. Does that make sense? Or am I just kidding myself?
It makes perfect sense and you are not kidding yourself. If you haven't read DR in a while then thumb through it and read the chapter on this, I forget which it is but it's near the beginning of the book. It talks about how those around us believe D is in our best interests so we can end the pain and move on. Unfortunately D brings all new pain, but our support group doesn't realize it. What they think will improve us usually just makes things worse.
There is also legally and financially protecting yourself. Sticking your head in the sand or closing your eyes and holding your your hands over your ears and yelling 'LA-LA-LA' does not make what is happening go away.
You seem to be living in some strange land where all these relationships end up working out perfectly. That is not the case.
So when someone threatens to cut you off financially. You protect yourself. Legally. You do not go. Well if I ignore it or go along with it they will be nicer towards me.
Failure to do so is a mistake.
I fully intend to do so. However, I'm not sure how you thought being rude would be beneficial. Wow. I am sort of shocked but whatever. Bluntness I can get and even understand but obviously you have had a bad day or something. You are suggesting that I simply be angry and vindictive and go ahead and file under the notion that it is "protecting myself" Or that somehow I am deluding myself. I am fully well aware of my situation as I live it every single day of my life. At this point, I do not know that my filing is going to change a single thing. That is really what I am saying. One thing I know it will do, is cause my children pain. It will force everyone under a microscope while H gets his head checked out and we all do too. It is going to be brutally nasty. I know this. I am trying to avoid some of that if possible. Also, we haven't even been apart long enough to file yet and I think the state orders mediation and counseling. Of course, I will find all that out in the morning.
