Thanks Regret. I truly appreciate the support and words of encouragement.
Originally Posted By: RegretfulLA
I just want to say that you are absolutely entitled to your need for commitment. We need that in our R's - we need to feel safe, we need to feel that the person that we are investing in is doing so in return. If we don't feel that reciprocal commitment, it can be really disheartening. I think we can all stand a little limbo for a while, but you've been at it for some time now, and that must be getting old. It isn't insecurity. Marriage is based on a commitment and you have every right to want to know exactly where you stand.
I agree, and this was my first thought, but I think I was hiding my insecurity behind it. When I focus on living for the now, enjoying every moment, my life has been pretty awesome. W may say she isn't ready to re-commit, but when it's as good as it has been, who cares. The more I push for commitment, the more she runs from it so I have to let it go unless it's a deal breaker for me right now.
Originally Posted By: RegretfulLA
You can't change the past. She can't change the past. All you can do is create an environment so that you don't repeat the mistakes of the past. And you can apologize for the mistakes of the past and promise to do better. It is truly on her if she can't accept that.
Totally agree, and have tried to explain as much. Retrouvaille said the same thing. I even turned this one around on my W last night. She wants to let this whole financial thing with OM go because "it's done and we can't do anything to change it now." So I said, and how is that different from all the things you are still mad at me about? She didn't have an answer, and I really hope she thinks on it.
All that said, I did apologize to W via text this morning and told her I thought my insecurity won out the best of me yesterday....whether it be about our financials, our M, our car, or whatever. For the first time ever, she told me "forgiven." I was in shock. She even said she was anxious and quick to anger last night too. So an apology and taking some responsibility....promising.
Time for some P90X with my kiddos and some ab work! That cruise is around the corner and I'm gonna look damn good for it!
