The crack in my separated life...

[keep_going]

SB,

I agree 100% with Snodderly on the boundaries. Do NOT give in to your H and make it easy for him. He needs to suffer the consequences of his actions like everyone else in life. It's hard on him? Tough. Not your problem. You know what my H said to me when our S was going to be born? That he could not have him over at his place because he didn't have a crib. Can you see how ridiculous that sounds? Well, what your H is telling you is just as ridiculous. I bring this up because sometimes it's easier for us to see other's sitch clearly and be completely blind about ours.

You need to do so for YOU and YOUR CHILDREN. I wish so much to help you avoid the same mistakes I made. I didn't establish boundaries early on and it was so detrimental to MY emotional health and it only confused our young kids even more.

If you let him be in your house, what are you going to do when he starts texting OW in front of you and / or the kids? When he hides in the bathroom or bedroom to talk to her and then comes out to sit down for dinner with you all? Yes, this is what my H did! You need to respect yourself and show your children what that looks like.

Having him come over WILL NOT help you get him back. If he gets upset about this, it WILL NOT make things worse between the two of you either.

A lack of boundaries will keep you stuck and you will not be able to detach. Look at me - I am STILL struggling with this almost two years later. If anything, learn from my mistakes...

Please, THINK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR KIDS.

And speaking of kids, your D is sending off red flags and alarming warning signs that need to be dealt with NOW.

Right now, she's acting like she's an adult - begging your husband to come home - and doing adult activity. Take the pressure off her. It will be awful and she will tell you she hates you. Tough times.

But now that you know what she's doing, don't you think she's journaling for the very purpose of being found out?

You and your husband better make this your number one priority. Not his wishy washy desires to sleep at home or your confusion. Be the parents.

This ^^^^ I could have not said it any better.

I don't know what the answer is re. the journal, but you must do something because she is going down a slippery slope FAST.

Focus on what you can and should.
We are here for you and just want to help you out.

You can do this!!!

((((((SB))))))))