Back to Square One?

[Wendylon]

Thank you very much, SD, labug and Tori, for dropping by.

Labug, I followed your suggestion and did a search of Crazyville's thread and got a bit discouraged by the similarities. It seems that CV has been at it for ages. I don't know if I have as much patience as he does. Thank you, Tori, for encouraging me to be patient!

Like Regretful, I've been thinking recently that H just isn't that into me and it's hard to keep going. It is nice that we're not fighting and arguing but he seems perfectly content with us living as friendly housemates. I want more. I doubt that he'll ever be that emotionally available.

Right now, I'm feeling a bit more optimistic that things can continue to improve. I guess I just need to keep DBing. I haven't been doing it for that long.

We were at a ceremony yesterday where D15 was being awarded a prize by the Lady Mayoress for being best sportsperson of the year at her school. It was done with lots of pomp and ceremony at the Guildhall with beautiful singing and music and it was nice to be there with H since he was so proud. One of our main links is the kids. I keep thinking that that has to count for so much. I couldn't have that with anyone else even if that person were more nurturing and more into me (and me into them).

H seems to be so indifferent to me at times. He is at home more though so I wonder whether things with POW have died down (or never really got started).

Earlier today, H got S13 up and ready for school. He then he picked up D15 from piano and dropped her off at netball. Now he's watching football with S17 and will pick D15 up from netball. I love all that but what about him seeming interested in me for more than a few minutes?! I know I'm being a bit whiney. He did come to bed in the early hours of the morning and we talked a bit about the US elections. You would never guess though that we'd ever been sexually intimate. It's just not in our repertoire at all at the moment. I'm 51 and feel it's a bit young to be at this point in my life. Then again, I'd be like this if I were single too. It's really not as if I'm attracted to other men anyway.

I'm rambling and look forward to catching up a bit on others' sitches when I get the chance.