Was this them the whole time ??? My 2nd thread

[SunnyBurst]

I don't mind the toys if I wasn't able to make love but why not have the real thing - you're right it's my ego

Something for your consideration...the toys have been part of W and I's whole relationship...they really helped her learn about herself and how her "response" functions, etc (trying to keep this G-rated) so that she knew, and could communicate that, and a lover with self-knowledge is a better lover. She also used them to "keep the motor running" because after kids, we would go a while in between due to family, work, time and stress pressure.
Heck, us guys have it easy in that area, we're not as intricate, complicated and hidden.
All that said, I get how you feel right now about them, because I am not getting any, and she had new ones that we didn't buy together, and maybe from some OM, so yeah...they threatened my ego and p1ssed me off at first. That's when I had to look at the big picture and realize that they mean nothing, and are not a threat. And if this is something new for your W as far as you know, then it could just be her learning about herself if she never really did before.
Just a possibility...
T^2

Yeah we used toys to, we were having trouble before she asked me for the seperation and told me she didn't want to have sex till she was ready of course I acted like a baby. I noticed she was using them without me and I and threw them out - I know controlling right -- I am an a$$ - she always said they were fun but she like the real thing more - so another mistake.


I gotta say that as long as you have been doing this I kinda feel ashamed of myself for feeling so low after only 13 months since the ILYBIANILWY - but I gotta be honest at this point being as old as I am and desperately wanting more kids I don't see how I could hang in as long as you in fact on Saturday she told me our other neighbor was pregnant she told me she saw the little bump - I was silent - maybe I shoulda said let's get workin on our own !! -- cuz I think that's why she told me - but I am so unsure these days I am afraid to say anything --

For now I am just trying to get through today - I have to focus hard on ME not HER !! It is hard for me not to date seeing how she is trying hard to - oh well for now I am still able to be ok - though I am much worse than I have been in a while cuz of this a$$hole neighbor incident -- thanks for you're help.

Sunny