WAS vs. LBS

[AJM]

Hi Crazy. It's not a game. It's a series of conversations to help you see another side and to help me see another side.

What I read in your email was what I expected, but I don't think you get it.

Let me be blunt then.

What did you specifically do each day of your marriage to show you wanted to be married to your husband? To make your marriage work?

Your analogy makes it sound like you are throwing him off like an old coat, but I doubt you meant it like that.

Let me continue to be blunt. What have you done to change your perspective about your H? Why did you once feel so enamored and now do not? You seem to think it's because you were wrong about him. What makes you say you are not wrong about him now??

The only thing that comes through is that you are not happy. And you seem to be looking for a reason to blame him so you can happily leave without the guilt.

If he wanted to be done you would have been kicked out already. If you wanted to be done you wouldn't be here.

So what changed? Specifically? What is it you are unhappy about specifically? Not just in the past year, but overall and over the entire marriage? What are his sins?

What are yours?

Last bluntness:
Change - be the change you want to see in others.

I see negativity from you. I suspect mild depression but I am no doctor. You have a strong desire to run away "and find happiness" and are not really looking for a way to stay, from what I read. You just want to avoid conflict, which is different.

I see no gratitude for the years together. I see only anger. Why? Has he changed that much? Or has your perspective changed that much? If so, why? Really. And not because you were wrong. You weren't wrong. But your view has changed and you'd like it to be that simple I think.

Last thought - your H doesn't make you happy. The next guy won't either. That's not where happiness comes from. And happiness is fleeting and elusive. Like a drug.

Joy is the better goal. Happiness is just a part of joy.

Too blunt? Not enough?

AJ