Well, I did poorly today. I made the mistake of starting a conversation about our relationship.
<pounds head on desk> What in the world, this must be the 3rd post I've read in the last hour on here like this from different people! Stop it with the R talks already! It'll never go your way and will probably ruin what progress you've made! I can't remember where I copied this from, but I liked it so much I stuck it in a file with other stuff I read every week or so for inspiration and reminders, it explains why you should NOT initiate R talks:
Quote:
Every time you say to her “But, I love you”, you are saying “but I want something different than what you want. You want to pull away, but I want you to come closer. I don’t really care what you want. It’s what I want that’s important.”
Lots of times men tell their wives “I’ve changed. I’ve changed. Let’s get back together. I’ve changed.”
I tell the husbands that Every time you say “I’ve changed”, you’re communicating to her that you have not changed.
Really? Why is that? How is that? I don’t understand that.
Of course, you don’t understand. But what’s your motivation? Why are you telling him or her how you’ve changed? What’s your purpose? Isn’t it to get your way?
Yeah, I want her back.
That’s your way. It’s not her way, right now. She said she may consider it later, maybe, but not right now. And every time you say “I’ve changed”, you’re saying “Give me my way! Give me my way! Give me my way! What I want is more important than what you want. I don’t give a hoot what you want.”
And subconsciously, she says “He hasn’t changed. He’s still the neurotic, selfish, pressuring guy he always was. There’s no way I’m going to go back to him, or feel positive to him as long as he is this way.”
