She asked W if she thought I was being honest and W agreed. I think that was a huge thing.
I'm not trying to deflate your hopes, but I want to give you more realistic expectations. My W and I went to MC for 6 sessions and they seemed to go unbelievably well. I really thought we were on the road to recovery, there were many positive signs. The only "hangup" was any time the C asked my W about the future of our R she would respond "I just don't want to try". She ackowledged my 180's, said I had become the perfect husband since BD, said everything was fantastic in the home including sex, but she was done with the M and didn't "want to try". In the end the MC did not change her mind and she left. I just want you to understand that it may seem like MC is going well, but if your W is "done" then the MC may have no impact on her at all.
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W is very concerned how this all will effect our son, councilor assured us that he will be ok no matter how this ends up, because we are both good solid people. That seemed to make her relieved.
LOL! Nearly word-for-word what our C said. Unfortunately it just made my W (and probably yours) believe that leaving the M will have little to no impact on the kids. So at that point concern about the kids ceased to be a factor in W's decision.
Originally Posted By: Acy
This is when I said to much: Then I screwed up and started talking about how I wasnt interested in a fairy tale fling with anyone. I wanted to do the work to make this work. That commitment and trust are what its all about in relationship. And some other type stuff. She got all trapped feeling and like she is trying to be convinced.
Go back and read my last post to you. Your job is NOT to talk! It is to LISTEN!!! Listen and validate! Tattoo it to the inside of your eyelids! When you tell her what you want the R to be, she sees you as controlling and manipulative.
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So the good half and the bad half, maybe it evens out...
It doesn't. One bad thing wipes out a ton of good things. A really bad thing can wipe out weeks and weeks of progress. That's OK, it happens. Just double down on your DB efforts.
