Originally Posted By: TJP
Well, you're the only man that makes sense to me right now smile Its reassuring to know there are still nice guys out there.


I make sense - wow you think that would give me an advantage with someone in a MLC -- NOT -- just the opposite !!

As far as the nice guy thing - that is an excellent point - and it is a problem -- you have to be RESPECTED not NICE -- setting boundries is VERY IMPORTANT - I don't think the MLC would have gotten so bad I didn't start bending over backwards making EVERY CONCESSION being a doormat is VERY UNATTRACTIVE -- it has to be in balance !!!

1) live CONFIDENT -- if you DON'T VALUE YOURSELF YOUR SPOUSE WON'T
2) live HAPPY AND UPBEAT -- PEOPLE ARE NATURALLY DRAWN TO UPBEAT 1- HAPPY PEOPLE
3) live in agreement and validation -- very important to VALIDATE your spouse now - EVERYONE THAT HE IS HANGING WITH IS TELLING HIM HE IS DOING THE RIGHT THING AND HE WILL ALWAYS SEEK PEOPLE THAT DO -- SO SAY THINGS LIKE - I SEE THAT - I UNDERSTAND - ANYONE WOULD HAVE DONE THAT HONEY

If they are upset say I am sorry you feel that way. If they are happy say I am glad your happy. Some really powerful answers - OF COURSE - NO PROBLEM - NATURALLY - quick simple phrases that AVOID discussion -- very important. These must be spoken with STRENGTH AND CONFIDENCE - not NEEDY - REMEMBER NEEDY IS THE BIGGEST TURNOFF IN THE WORLD NO ONE WANTS TO BE AROUND A NEEDY PERSON - that's one of the reasons our spouses RUN we get so upset emotional beg plead all needy behavior - ok enough preaching again - now I gotta make sure I do it too !!

If someone decides there is no goodness in you they won't be able to see it.
I'll take a BLT over a MLC anyday !!!