As for Thanksgiving and Christmas...if he wants them Thanksgiving, you should have the children w/you on Christmas and vice versa next year. It's not all about what he wants and when he wants it.
I'd rather see you come here and vent than to do it at him.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
