Okay.. I am very irritated at my W right now. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle today. It has been months since she ended the affair, but she still says she feels nothing for me. Still says she is not sexually attracted to me. Except when she is, and then she says its purely physical. And when prodded last night she told be that she is still feeling hurt and pain at the loss of this douche. And she doesn't know if she can feel anything for me. Can I live in a loveless marriage? Do I need to? I have a big career change coming up in the coming year. I feel a lot of stress about that, and I need to know what we are doing as a couple to help me make my career choice. She says I should act as though I have three kids and need a job, and not worry about us. I am very irritated by this. Her comments about us are as if nothing we had was real and that I never wanted to be with her. But the life I gave up to be with her can never come back, so it as if she has destroyed both the life I have with her and the life I could have lived had we not built a life together. but all and all I am still fighting. She is still here, but still morning the loss of this douche. And I keep questioning my resolve.
