How are you today? Thanks again for stopping my my thread. I will tell you that my situation is different bc my husband is it seems a habitual cheater. But he was dead set determined to leave me in August 2005 and I did the usual begging and all that until about November 2005. I soon after found DB and started following the techniques and posting here for help before I did anything concerning my h. It worked. It was so painful but I did grow some and start a process of finding myself and changing things that I didn't like. That time changed me alot and I am glad it happened.
I am telling you this bc you don't need to give up hope. Follow the book and the advice you get here. It's not easy at all and it is heart breaking sometimes but keep your end goal in mind and focus on what you can do to show her that you love her and are serious about your marriage. That should help the loneliness and hurt you feel sometimes. Come here to post if you feel the need to call or text her. Let us help you. We all know how this feels.
I think you can do this. I may be off here but I would look at the fact that she offered you the basement is a good sign. She may be confused and not really know what she wants. Respect that and make the changes that you know you need to make. Do your 180s and GAL with yourself as your daughters.
Keep your head up and be positive. She will notice the changes.
Me:37 H:38 6 kids first bomb 8/05 (ow involved) piecing 7/06 second bomb 3/07 ow involved wash rinse repeat.... huge move to start over 2/11 more affairs H left for good 8/12
Thank you for reading my posts. No, I am not a cheater ... thank the Lord. She did offer the basement, but took it back just as quick as she offered. It is hard to detach, especially when children are involved and the fact that communication was a big issue of ours. I do love the support and advice that I get on this forum. I hope that one day, I can be in the busted category. It's not looking good though...
BD: 8/20/2012 W Files: 8/23/2012 S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out) D Final: 3/5/2013
Just remember, its not over until you decide you are dropping the rope. I have read many many posts on here including the old ones and there are some surprising turns after it appeared all hope was lost. I am only a few months into my own sitch and have days where I feel all may be lost, but coming on here gives me renewed hope each time.
W: 40 Me: 44 M: 12 years Together: 14 Three children (S-4, D-3, S-1) EA started in April, discovered in 07/12 ILYBNILWY: 07/12 MC Started: 09/12 Patience Tested: 1,245,963 times since 07/12
I guess I messed up today. Tomorrow is our anniversary, and she texted about holiday plans. Here is the text conversation:
W: We need to talk about Christmas and Thanksgiving Me: Ok W: gave plans Me: agreed Me: Said that I hope she has a good night and day tomorrow. Tomorrow will be hard for me. W: It won't be easy for me. Me: Wish I had a time machine to go back a few years W: Yeah...if it means anything, I'm sorry Me: While we are in legal limbo, would you consider MC again while still living apart? W: Don't see the point Me: We can learn to be godly H and W. W: Past is too bad Me: MC can help us get through the past and work forward. A friend of mine and his wife were in the exact position we are in. They went, and their M is better than ever.
No response.
I think I really messed up, but I honestly felt I had nothing to lose.
BD: 8/20/2012 W Files: 8/23/2012 S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out) D Final: 3/5/2013
I guess I messed up today. Tomorrow is our anniversary, and she texted about holiday plans. Here is the text conversation:
W: We need to talk about Christmas and Thanksgiving Me: Ok W: gave plans Me: agreed Me: Said that I hope she has a good night and day tomorrow. Tomorrow will be hard for me. W: It won't be easy for me. Me: Wish I had a time machine to go back a few years W: Yeah...if it means anything, I'm sorry Me: While we are in legal limbo, would you consider MC again while still living apart? W: Don't see the point Me: We can learn to be godly H and W. W: Past is too bad Me: MC can help us get through the past and work forward. A friend of mine and his wife were in the exact position we are in. They went, and their M is better than ever.
No response.
I think I really messed up, but I honestly felt I had nothing to lose.
Much better.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Today is a rough day for me. It is our anniversary. I guess I messed up again today, as I offered to buy her lunch. I couldn't go to work today. She said that was nice of me, but she has something at work. I guess if W can get through today, she can get through anything.
BD: 8/20/2012 W Files: 8/23/2012 S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out) D Final: 3/5/2013
You can get through today too! What are you going to do for yourself today? The answer better not be sit at home.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
No, I am not going to sit at home. I am about to go to the mountains and donate some money to the local casino. I dare not care it gambling, as that indicates I have a chance to win... Never have too much luck with the slots.
BD: 8/20/2012 W Files: 8/23/2012 S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out) D Final: 3/5/2013
Good to hear. I enjoy giving my occasional donation as well. Good luck!
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
