About the bedwetting, I'm relatively new, so I don't know your daughter's history, but has she seen a pediatric urologist? 2 of my boys had bedwetting issues until age 9 or 10, but that ran in my family, so I didn't worry. They outgrew it. However, I did used to work for a urologist who treated pediatric patients who had actual issues other than immaturity, like low grade infections or reflux, which could be fixed.
Thank you for your concern! I appreciate you sharing that you worked for a urologist.
Yes my Daughter has seen the pediatrician and has been referred to a great urologist. And he says the same thing, she should grow out of it. It's just her bladder is inmature.All tests were run including an ultrasound of her bladder.
He suggested the bedwetting alarms, but they're quite spendy. Gave and Rx for pills, but those had funky side effect and freaked all of us ot. So Xh and I have finally gotten on the same page and routine of getting our daughter up appx the same times each night, and it's finally working. For while there, it didn't seem to work at all, but she's now responding. She was dry for one week for the first time since I don't know when. She needs to get up appx 2-3 hours after she goes to sleep, then another 2-3 hours later, then up for the day. I am so proud of her and happy we found a solution.
Food sensitivities may play a role - check out this study: Clin Pediatr (Phila). 1992 May;31(5):302-7. Effect of diet treatment on enuresis in children with migraine or hyperkinetic behavior. Egger J, Carter CH, Soothill JF, Wilson J. Source
Hospital for Sick Children, London, England.
Couldn't hurt to just try a gluten-free dairy-free diet for a month, anyway.
In the light of "closure", in our attempt to make ammends with what WE the LBS have done in the past that really hurt our MLCers feelings, is it a good idea to apologize about this?
I was just hit with the memory of things that I used to do that really hurt XH feelings all our marriage and especially the first part of our marriage.... however it turned into a sick dynamic between the two of us.
See I've always been very frustrated with XH, even when we were married. I used to call my mom and complain about this to her. I would go into the bedroom, shut the door and talk to her about this.. amongst many other things too. Well un beknownst to me till MANY YEARS LATER, did I find out my XH would sit at the door and evesdrop on my conversation!!! He did this for years! Then he started reading my emails.
I guess Im feeling guilty for handling things 20 years ago the way I did. It wasn't right that I hurt his feelings and I should've handled it different. But the truth is I really didn't know how to do it! I too was acting passive aggressive, and spewing about some issues we had to any one that would listen, but XH. I do know that as I matured I tried talking about these things more, but then his reaction was so bad I just quit trying to communicate all together.
I guess what Im getting at is that I know I hurt Xh feelings, in the midst of trying to figure out my own.
If I apologized for that, this many years later, does anyone think it would actually cause more harm than good?
Honestly? I think it would be a good thing to apologize much the same way you just did.
Why? Because I believe that we as humans need to apologize for our mistakes so we can move forward.
The thing is, he may not be listening. For reasons that are his. In order to truly apologize, you would have to have zero expectations that he'll listen or respond. And you would have to do it without blaming him in the least, because it's really about you and your apology to him. A gift so to speak.
And that's OK, because the apology is for you to do regardless of his actions.
Make sense?
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
I guess that's why Im kind of leary about doing it. Im afraid it might press a button in him and he will end up being angry at me.
There are so many things that I want to say to Xh, that I want to aplogize about. But Im afraid of what he'll do with that information. Im afraid that he'll go to the OW and make fun of me. Im afraid it won't be taken seriously and that he will mock me for something I truly mean.
I think it's my old fear of never feeling safe with him to truly be myself and truly bare my soul. He never took me seriously about things that were important to me. It's really hard when you bare your soul to someone and they don't even acknowledge it. WE never felt safe with eachother I guess. And I completely see how that started now.
Maybe Im not quite ready to aplogize for fear of his reaction.
Kimmerz, You will be given the opportunity to apologize to your h at a later time. Right now, he's in his own little world and his attention span will not allow him to focus on what you are saying. Right now, he's not settled enough to truly listen and "absorb" what you are saying.
You will know when the time is right...but it's not now. Sit quietly and be patient...he's not ready to hear what you have to say.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
It is entirely possible that he would mock you or be mean to you. Remember he is hurt as well. You don't have a monopoly on that, right? Perhaps Snodderly is right then. I honestly think if you cannot do it without worrying about the outcome (i.e. doing the apology for the sake of the apology and the other person ONLY) then the time may not be right.
Peace, AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
