I guess that's why Im kind of leary about doing it. Im afraid it might press a button in him and he will end up being angry at me.
There are so many things that I want to say to Xh, that I want to aplogize about. But Im afraid of what he'll do with that information. Im afraid that he'll go to the OW and make fun of me. Im afraid it won't be taken seriously and that he will mock me for something I truly mean.
I think it's my old fear of never feeling safe with him to truly be myself and truly bare my soul. He never took me seriously about things that were important to me. It's really hard when you bare your soul to someone and they don't even acknowledge it. WE never felt safe with eachother I guess. And I completely see how that started now.
Maybe Im not quite ready to aplogize for fear of his reaction.
