WAS vs. LBS

[AJM]

Hi CrazyV. I am fascinated by your postings. I also feel sorry that you have these feelings. I don't think they are uncommon or unnecessary. What I see in your posts is a search for growth and understanding. I see you asking the implicit question of how to change the dynamic by changing your husband.

I find that ironic. Especially since you seem so very smart and learned.

Ghandi had it right when he mentioned how to change the dynamic (others). So did the CIA when they wrote their books.

What I see in your posts is a one-way look at things. I know that's not the whole story, but it is very slanted. I get that but I think you may not be looking in all the places. Hence your frustration at the situation as you contemplate shutting down and leaving.

You mentioned many times that you wanted to know what people did, daily to participate in their marriage (I'm re-wording a bit). The implication is that your H shutdown and didn't actively participate.

So I wonder. What did you do daily?

What made your perspective change from before? (I did read your thread)

What is your H's perspective in his words?

You already know that looking for affirmation outside your marriage is not what you want to do. But you are toying with that, it seems. You are toying with the idea of taking the "easy" path. It's not, but it may seem like that right now. I think I see why, but curious what your thoughts are on the above questions.

I think it's a good idea to search for these kinds of answers. I really do. I hope you don't take offense at the questions or my asking them. I am certainly no authority I can see you have received a lot of really good advice and questions so far. I think that's very good as well.

Peace,


AJ