Was this them the whole time ??? My 2nd thread

[SunnyBurst]

Hi Sunny,

Man I feel for you, I know this totally svcks...from what you have written, your W thinks she is D, even if she hasn't filed, so here's what I did when W was in the same place doing the same crap as your W, oh, about a year ago...

I svcked it up, waited it out.

I worked on me.

I figured out why my ego was having such a hard time. I keep reading in your posts your EGO talking quite a bit. I would look into why that is. There is wisdom, maybe a bit of grace, there to be found. It's hard, but worth it, I promise.

I figured out how to detach. Your W is a free human being, no matter what. You cannot control her actions, only she can. Accept this. It is reality.

She wants some excitement, drama, validation that she's still got it right now? I mean, going for an engaged guy??? Really? Sounds like someone wants a notch in their gun, stealing attention from an engaged guy, must mean she's extra special, right? Oh, an since he's engaged and going for her, he must be quite the high quality dude....right! Or maybe she is going for him BECAUSE he is engaged, therefore not a real relationship threat so he'll never see the "real" her...who knows, man.

If you can step back from yourself on this and look at it like a scientist or something, what do you really see?

I waited my W's replay out, twice with a break in between from 2009 and now,though I did get to a point, maybe where you are at, where I did tell her "Fine, leave" in early spring this year. I think she is pretty much done with her OMs, based on her actions and some of what she says in a non-direct way. But I don't know for sure, and that's not bothering me anymore too much. Only when my ego feels threatened and wants to control something so it feels secure do I get bothered by it it seems.

Have you seen a lawyer yet, just to get info on your rights, etc?

If you choose to kick her out, be sure to see a L first, and then be ready to follow through or she will never respect you again....

Our spouses know us so well (hey, we trained them), she probably can tell that what she is doing is bothering you, and she is probably seeing your controlling side, as she expects it. Mlc'ers can be malicious, my W was sometimes.

I was at the end of my patience so many times, had I given in to my impatience, I wouldn't be where I am now, with W slowly finding that road I left out, paved and smooth.

I hate my life right now !!!

Oh man, did I ever say that a lot! I don't say it anymore, and my W's actions, words, crisis or recovery has little to with why I don't say it anymore........

T^2

Yes I am to but I miss my wife terrible I am not egotistical but this guy is so ugly !!! But he is 7 feet tall maybe he has a huge ---- OMG - I don't get it !!!
Ok I am trying !!!!

How long has your wifes MLC been going on ???
Yes he told me to let her make the 1st move.
Nope can't it's both of ours house.
I am just pissed that she knows that I know - I think the guy is a wimp he was shaking when I looked at him today - I can always send a copy of his texts to his Fiance I am thinking about telling her - to save her from marrying this a$$hole - they been together 5 years - her mother just lost her whole house and 2 cars in the storm and this is how he is acting while she is out taking care of her mom !!! Unreal

Like I said seeing this much mania and evil in someone who was so special is very sad -- what else can I tell you -- I won't get over it -- I also don't get her friend Genine supporting her so much but she has an open marriage sooo

A question - how have you forgiven all this behavior - do you know for a fact she has slept with someone else ???

Thanks a million T2 !!

Sunny