I remember so well an article by MWD, entitled..... "Where Were You When I Needed You?"
The bottom line of that article, was, Right By Your Side.
I had previously been living that concept so she would finally realize that fact, even though that may have been pursuit.
I don't know the placement of those grey lines so often. I only wanted to do the Right Things for my W. That hasn't worked.
Nothing can ever work until or IF she deals with her alcohol addiction. Stinking Thinking started when she relapsed and now she has her heals dug in.
Ed
Me, 55 W, 36 T, 10 yrs S-9 M, 8 yrs 1st D-Day, 9-27-2009, With 1st bf, ea/pa 2nd D-Day, 12-5-2009, With her best friends bf, ea/pa W, AA relapse early 2009-Current W moved out 2-16-2012 New OM 5-2012
Ed, YOU ARE right by her side... much to your detriment... You need to figure out a way to not be so emotionally invested in her every malady (As hard as I know that is!) and start healing yourself... THAT will help you more than anything.
I cringe at the thought of being called a "Vet" As I've only been on these boards for a few months... but I've learned from some amazing people and feel that I'm making SOME progress... But I'm FAR from where I want to be... But either way, I appreciate you appreciating me!
Either way... You're 100% right about her addiction... You CAN'T fight that fight for her... She knows you're there when she needs you... and as tough as it might be to hear... that's a form of enabling... Keep the focus on you and S... Let her feel the pain of loneliness that you feel by simply being a better person and a better father.
Her heels are dug in... so it's time to dig YOUR heels in too... I know you can do it.
