Welcome to the community here at DB. The first thing you need to do is read Divorce Remedy. Those are the principles we base our advice upon.
You may have more response if you post in Newcomers.
For now, I would suggest that you do nothing until you have information. Even if you confront her, it most likely not end the communication with OM. But if she knows you are on to her...she will carry on with the A, but she'll make sure you don't see any more evidence.
Rest assured, talking about the MR and the problems is not the way to fix this. Neither can you start smothering her with what you should have been doing before she found OM.
You need to read about walk-away wives. It's an eye opening for most men. Your W is telling you the same things that women tell H's when they are trying to get out of the M....due to finding another man (or wanting to find OM).
This will not be a short journey. I hope you'll listen to what we tell you instead of giving in to your strong emotions you have....and will continue to experience. It is hard, but your M can be saved.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
