Catching up on replies I missed from the last thread:
Thanks so much to Arsene, needgrace, bustingout, fuanacdc and Soul.Searching for the kind, warm-hearted, flattering comments in the last thread that were made before I got a chance to reply
Arsene-
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I agree with you, though, sometimes you're too close to it to notice the little things, which are really the kind of things you wouldn't notice if all was well in your couple.
If it wasn't for DR and these forums I think I would have given up on W by now. The sitch just seems completely hopeless when not referenced against the patterns described on these forums. These forums help to show that there is a process to go through and there is hope for reconciliation even in the face of seemingly impossible odds. I have to admit I really don't harbor much hope anyway (W hasn't given me any reason to have any), but if not for this place I would have no hope at all and would have moved on by now. Even if we don't reconcile at least I will be comforted knowing that I did the honorable thing in front of my kids, my relatives and the world in trying to save the M.
fuanacdc-
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I sometimes wish that we had a child or some other reason to communicate. We don't really have any commonality to force us to interact so my W and I can see each other. I quite literally haven't heard her voice in almost 2 months.
Well it works both ways, it does force interaction between the spouses which can be seen as a benefit but on the other hand it makes it impossible to go dark (or do the LRT) without negatively affecting the kids, and it makes it very difficult to move on to a new life too. I mentioned one of Michele's quotes about there being no such thing as divorce when kids are involved, the hard truth is that once you have kids you are forever tied to your spouse through them. I can see why second marriages have a higher failure rate because when you start blending families it just quadruples tensions because the ex is always part of things regardless. I knew all of this before BD and I was 100% committed to the M regardless of what happened. It just never dawned on me that I didn't have full say in the matter.
