Well what you should say is actually a combination of those. "I care deeply about you and don't want you to go, but I want you to be happy and if you feel that leaving will make you happy then I support your decision." You're telling him you don't approve, but you accept his decision. And it does have to be his decision, you shouldn't tell him to go (unless you're ready to drop the rope).
I like this alot! There have actually been a few times that I was rational enough to say something very similar, even brave enough to ''drop the rope at the time''.
I am all over with my emotions, I know in my right mind him leaving would have great benefits w/lesser in my face pain. But, I can't wrap my mind around leaving your family for nothing, a life beneath what he has.
My S21 worked on a very large gig yesterday giving me all the info about the guys H has been working with for over 18yrs (they work in the same field). These guys are clean cut, working, producing, growing, getting older, loving their families, and one of them shared a story of how he's taking his wife skiing.
WTF!!! After all these years "I" ended up with the wackadoodle. THis is what I get!
He can leave, I will not beg him to do anything, but I will not feel sorry for him, do anything for him, or have sympathy for a man that will put forth no effort for himself or me!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
