Wow you guys have made me smile! Today has been a good day for me. Not for the kiddos. They are at each others throats with the exception of S14. He seems to be like me today. I woke up to UPS bringing me flowers from a friend :-) Nothing like multi-colored daisies to make a girl smile. They are the happy flower after all. I have a call in to several attorneys. One I have an appointment with. I think I already said that. It has been hard here. I suspect that they don't work on Mondays and with today being election day I am not able to catch anyone in either. My step mother is going to help me with attorney retainer fees so that is good. I actually feel a little better at least knowing the truth. That might sound dumb. I suspect this is rebound. Who knows? Who really cares? At this point as I said before, he would need a come to jesus moment and then still yet the road back would be very difficult and frankly I am not sure I care to invest more time in him and this lost cause of a R. Not only that, I really don't think he has the courage to face the things in himself that really needs to change or to do the hard work I would need to see for me to even be willing to entertain the idea. The stumbling block of course is the children. For them I would consider it. So things are as they were. I suspect I have maybe 2 weeks before he starts on me really hard. Not sure what to do about his previous mental health issues. Of course that will be an issue. They haven't disappeared but not nearly as bad since he is cycling and less depressed atm. With no meds or interventions he will be right back to the same place soon. I guess she can deal with him then. Ironic that the H I had and she had were very different. H mental illness had not appeared yet as extreme as it was with us. Also, the fact that he has no where to really even take them. Where he lives there is only a twin bed and the full bed he sleeps in. So I don't know. I asked him where he was going to visit them or anything and his response was I don't know. Not sure how any parent makes a decision that monumental and doesn't consider their children. That is what really sort of flabbergasted me. I haven't made a single decision in 15 years that I haven't considered them. Even down to something as basic as dinner for the night. It is truly all about him. He feels good right now and that is his only concern. I really do not want them around her. I have no real control over that though. As far as them visiting with him I am going to leave that up to each one of them individually. Hopefully, he will just stay away and it is a non issue. I feel like we all need some time and routine to get settled. He just gets in the way of that. So far, there has been no contact and hopefully it will remain that way. Thanks again everyone for your support.
