I keep trying to detach but it has gotten so much harder when she communicates with me as friends. I try so hard to not breakdown and just grab her and hold on tight.
Even though I have hope without expectations, I can't help fear the unknown once she moves out. She seems so much stronger, maybe its because of the OM?
I know, today its one of those days where I feel really lost. Maybe its because I have been spending more time with her but I also know she will be moving out.
I Haven't had any crazy emotion outburst or negative words with W. But i can't help think, this is a messed up punishment for me and the kids.
when i see the kids, they are so happy. Then i think about when my W is moving out. The questions i will answer, the fear of failure to be the best dad for them.
So many questions, no real answers.
All i know is, i need to set my boundaries when she leaves. As much as i would love her to be around more but i need to protect the kids (stability) and allow myself to keep moving.
Its so hard to take a breath, feel like i am drowning. I know tomorrow i will feel better.
