TJP, When I came up through the ranks on this board, DBing was just then becoming popular. There were a few forums that were posting around the same time and the thread about your man being in crisis came from there. Since that time, things have change in the way that we work around the mlcers.
Your mlcer is out to lunch and wants to be left alone for now. You can be civil and show understanding, but I don't advise being affectionate, especially if he's got op in the picture.
I would leave him alone and allow him the time and space he requires to work through this. At some point in time, you'll be able to try different things, especially if something isn't working, but your h needs his space right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
