First thing's first... Your W already KNOWS you care, so you don't need to reach out to tell her that again... sickness or not.
And TRUST me, I know how hard it is to NOT reach out in times like this... your instinct is to continue to care for her and show her that you're there for her... but the simple fact is, she doesn't WANT you to be there for her...
If she did, well she knows how to get in touch with you. And you've proven time and again that you'll be there if she needs you.
As for confronting her about seeing her car at the bar instead of being at S's karate class... you know the answer there already. It will do absolutely NOTHING good. She know where she was, as she made that decision... You pointing out that YOU know too won't give her a new perspective or make her see the light.
With respect to your attitude and "lack of feeling", well as scary as that is, it's a sign of progress for you... The more you're able to stay stoic about things that used to send you into fits, the better you'll be.
But remember, the progress forward isn't a straight line... it's bumpy and filled with twists and turns... No matter how far you come, there's always going to be a roadblock... just keep moving forward, learning lessons, and becoming a better man.
Thank you so much for catching up on my sitch! I'm sure it took a while, and I appreciate your caring... Hopefully it can help you in some small way. And I also appreciate the prayers!
Oh and one last thing: You reaching out would not be a 180... it would be pursuit...
