Next Step, Moving On

[dorightman]

After two months of hitting a brick wall, and a w that has dug her heels in so deep she won't budge, I believe I will have to move out and start my new life to save myself. My therapist told me that I need to face the reality, that my wife "divorced" me years ago, that I've been in denial, and that I'am gonna die if I don't take myself out and save myself. He said that she needs to do whatever she needs do do by herself, and I need to stop looking at her and receive nothing back from her reflection. Weds we go see him together and I believe it will be our final therapy together. She just isn't interested in reconciliation in any way, shape, or form. She just wants out. It really does feel hopeless while we are both under the same roof, aswel as extremely painful for both of us and our two young children. I can only hope that down the road, maybe she will come around, but I may have moved on by then. G-d only knows....

[Grateful]

Please don't move out. It will not help the situation at all. Trust me. I moved out a couple of months ago for what I was hoping to only be temporary. Now, D papers are filed, and it is all but over.

[dorightman]

Grateful, I feel you, but my marriage has been over for years. I have been in denial. I think for my sitch, there will not be any healing until we truly separate, and for my own sanity and healing, I may need to move on to get my strength back. After I heal, I will be a better dad, and hopefully the space and time apart will heal my w. We are both so stuck and there has been no movement or relief in a long time. It has effected our physical and mental health and our kids. I just don't see any other solution. I will try to keep DBing and hopefully we will be able to reconcile down the road, who knows? Not sure how to handle the money part yet, but meeting with a lawyer tomorrow.

[Grateful]

I hate to hear that, but you must do what you need to do. You do need to concentrate on the kids now. Do they know about this plan?

[dorightman]

Not yet, gonna take my time and won't tell them until its written in stone.

[Grateful]

You stated that you are going to truly separate. To me, that means two households. What is your timeframe for moving if you don't mind my asking?

[dorightman]

I don't know yet, a lot of big decisions to make first

[Grateful]

I'm praying for you.

[dorightman]

Thank you Grateful

[MrBond]

"After I heal, I will be a better dad"

Why haven't you been doing that now? She had told you for years that she needed you to step up. One of the reasons why she hasn't changed her mind yet is because you haven't changed your behaviors.

Start today.