I know the feeling of doing things and then missing H. I always want to share the fun that I've had with him. I'm not doing that as much know. It sounds like you are asking yourself a lot of good questions about where you want to go with the R.
Since you've agreed that you need to talk about how to make it work going forward, maybe it is time to start thinking about how to do that in a no threatening way?
M44 H57 D17 (special needs) M 18 yrs Bomb 7/2/12 Still living together
