My response to your questions...leave it alone. Your h needs to accept that the dog is in poor health and he needs to do this on his own. Your question/concern would appear very false to him right now since you asked him to pick up the dog and have him put down. Just leave it alone...this is one wound you do not pick at unless he talks to you about it.
As for the comments he made to your daughter about her birthday card, He was very childish and selfish when he said them to her. I would leave it alone for now...there will come a time when you'll be able to say something to him about it.
If you are trying to figure out how to speak to your daughter, sit her down and explain that he's going through something and that she should not feel guilty about not being available to him on her birthday. It was her special day and she spent it the way that she wanted.
It appears that you are "itching" to text him after all he's put you through emotionally today. Why? Stay nc for your mental and emotional well being. You get spun up everytime you see or hear from him...just leave him alone. If he wants to talk to you, he'll contact you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
