Nope, it's not that you are so kick that you aren't ready to say it is over. You can't move on because you are still trying to find answers and understand what has happened to your h. It's been a shock to say the least and you've not gone through the entire process of grieving.
You don't want to serve him papers to make him hurt. He most likely would be tickled that you did the work for him. You do not want to do anything in the way of revenge towards him. You want to rise above what he's saying/doing. You don't want to lower yourself to his level as to where he is right now and above all else...you don't want to become an angry bitter person over this.
There is also hope and possibility, but my money is on the fact that it could be years from now before the new and improved man surfaces on a permanent basis. Your h is just getting started in the full blown mlc. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you in my opinion of where your h is, but he's really not ventured forth onto the Mother Ship and actually begun his journey into the land of crazy. He's just skimmed the surface. He may get a lot worse before he gets better.
You are not stupid or naive, but you are grieving and you are going through the stages as you should be. As they say, you are right where you should be at this time.
Again, don't beat yourself up...you are very normal and what you are going through in the way of questioning, etc. You just have to learn to accept him for who he is at this moment and not who he was...it's hard to do, but to get through this, you will need to.
Buckle up, the ride is going to be full of twists, turns and bumps along the way.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
