So soul, have you seen the bigger picture yet? I've seen lots of emotions all over your thread (been out a while, but was wondering about you and how you were doing). Both from you and from others. But I have not seen you accept the craziness yet. You've seen it, but you still seem awed by it. Surprised by it or how somebody could/would do those things or say those things.
I think it's important for you to get past that shock and awe. I can honestly tell you the further I get away from my experience, the more clearly I see that as the biggest barrier. I'm sad it took as long as it did. But as I get further away, I see more clearly how the craziness of the items is a big thing I needed to get used to. They don't stop until their turmoil does. They indicate the inner turmoil, self-loathing, and anger/pain that is going on. Regardless if MLC or other item is driving it.
My suggestion? Get over the shock and awe at the crazy things he does and says for now. You may not be ready to move on, but before you end up with too much resentment, realize what he says and does is like what a 2 year old says or does. Put as much faith into them as you do a 2 year old.
The more silent you are with him, the better as well. Your boundaries are important and I do not think you should worry about what you say or do. You should always be authentic and real. Be you. To be scared is no good for anyone...
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
