Overall, I'm doing okay. I feel like I'm rebuilding my life--trying new things, friends, etc. I'm really trying to focus on being healthy and being present for the kids.
H continues to be gone most of the time...comes home and acts very friendly to me...yet had OW here again a couple weeks ago and she stayed at his place when my kids were there. (He didn't tell me...the kids came back and mentioned she had been with them for the weekend). He's still passing her off as a "friend"...although I have a hard time believing my kids don't see through it.
Our divorce filing is just sitting. I've decided today that I need to move forward. I'm scared to be alone...I'm scared to push and have the divorce be "my fault"...I'm scared if I push him, he'll want to come back and I'm really not sure I want him back at all. (I don't want him back...but I have huge guilt around not trying on behalf of the kids)
He hasn't even hired a lawyer...so I think I'm going to send him a proposed split of our assets (I've been talking to my lawyer) and tell him what I'd like.
I anticipate he'll freak out...but my goal is to get divorced by the end of the year. I can't keep living like this.
Wish me luck...and if anyone has advice on staying strong...I'll take it.
M 44, H 46 D11, D9, D5 Married 12 years PA confirmed 9/2011 I filed 3/2012 H moved out 7/2012
