Yes, DB and many other advice books say that if you stop chasing, you draw them in. But that doesn't always work with regard to sex, and the advice books fail to mention that.
It's a subject that's been discussed in various ways many times on this forum and elsewhere I'm sure. The premise of the advice seems to be "if only a man treats a woman the right way, she will automatically and always want sex". And that, of course, is laughably and obviously not true.
So there are those chumps out there, me included, who tried the advice for a long time, with no luck whatsoever in the sex department. I mean we're talking candlelight dinners and even cruises to exotic places, with lots of fun otherwise, and still no sex whatsoever. Yeah, I wouldn't have believed it until I experienced it.
Time to pull a Newt. Ask her how she feels about an open marriage. The worst is she can say no, but she'll also get the message about how serious you are. And if she says yes, you'll have both a marriage and lots of sex.
Sorry, I have personal reasons that I don't find it funny but I also know you had no idea.
Open marriage is a death sentence in these circumstances. Might as well file for D and just move on. I think if you've been giving and giving, like with the cruises and all, then you might benefit from "Married Man Sex Life Primer". If all else is well in the M except for the amount of sex I think that can help. I was told to give it a read and I did...and I started acting that way but things in my R were too bad, I needed to just DB...now I've made things 100 times worse and I'm trying to truly DB.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Sorry, I have personal reasons that I don't find it funny but I also know you had no idea.
Open marriage is a death sentence in these circumstances. Might as well file for D and just move on. I think if you've been giving and giving, like with the cruises and all, then you might benefit from "Married Man Sex Life Primer". If all else is well in the M except for the amount of sex I think that can help. I was told to give it a read and I did...and I started acting that way but things in my R were too bad, I needed to just DB...now I've made things 100 times worse and I'm trying to truly DB.
Looked over the "Married Mans sex life primer". Alot of the things it is suggesting are things men should do anyway that women tend to respond to.
Looked at the chapter headings for "Married Man's Sex Life Primer". Yes, things men should do anyway. But, again, I'm worn out by the implication that "any woman will automatically want sex if only she is treated the right way". I've yet to see a book written about what to do if the man behaves as well as Jesus, and the woman still won't have sex with him.
Looked at the chapter headings for "Married Man's Sex Life Primer". Yes, things men should do anyway. But, again, I'm worn out by the implication that "any woman will automatically want sex if only she is treated the right way". I've yet to see a book written about what to do if the man behaves as well as Jesus, and the woman still won't have sex with him.
I agree wholeheartedly. In real life they want a man whose going to be a man if he is being sexually starved. It appears that means he will truly go get it somewhere else.
We are talking about on another bbs that when the male becomes the "nice one" it turns women off.
That when he goes back to the hunter who goes after what he wants, who may cheat - who is desireable to others, that the situation acts right and he will have regular sex.
Many of the SSM'ers are stuck in a position where they are waiting for the other to move, trying to piece together the right set of actions and words to get the LD spouse to respond.
They might not respond until they see you are a viable material on the market and they will hold onto what is "theirs".
[censored]. So those that have got beaten all the way down where there libido is drained, to where they have little hope of sex in the future, will stay in that position unless they go get it from somewhere else.
So being jesus like in behavior will NOT get you laid in 99% of cases. My statistics may not be perfect, but you get the point.
Being a sexual predator, who gets what he wants, WILL get you laid and have people wanting to be loyal to you.
I think MMSLP is that whole idea of you've become the "nice one" and you need to become the "hunter" again. For me, the issue is that I need to DB first, get the R back, then balance it out with MMSLP stuff. When you've already pushed and focused on sex and not nutured other parts of the R then you end up on DB b/c your R is on the brink.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
