We are on general speaking terms but I am following DR as closely as I can and never bring up R. She has mentioned D two or three times back in September but never since. She still dreams of a separation which will “solve all of her problems.” I validate her feelings and have done my best to “open the cage door” as it were.
OK good. Sounds like you're familiar with DB'ing and sticking with it pretty well. Just know that it takes a lot of time, don't expect any changes from your W in days or weeks. You're looking months down the road before seeing any positive signs.
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When she does bring up R in any discussion she gets very angry – a blind rage almost which has been strange to watch. I do not react and again validate where I am able and try to be a really good listener. It is hard. Very hard.
Good reaction from you. Would you say these rages are out of character for her?
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“I wasted my life in this bad marriage and could be so much happier if you weren’t here.”
The reason I asked the above is some of these things make it sound like she's in MLC. If you've noticed a radical shift in her behavior then study up in the MLC forum and see if it rings true. There's not a big difference in approach towards MLCer versus WAS, but there's a huge difference in recovery time and the misery you'll be put through.
