Hi Turtlegirl... I'm so sorry to hear about your rough weekend.

For the hugs, perhaps you could try what I do... (Not saying it WORKS... your mileage may vary!)

I've ALWAYS been the one to cling to my husband's hugs before, but now I make it a point to let go first! Lately, there have been times when I think he wants to pull away first, just based on little body shifts, so I have to start figuring out how to let go even earlier. He says these hugs are for me (to make me feel better - and by the same token to make him feel less guilty!), and it seems like your husband has a similar mindset.

However, I also try to enjoy the hugs while I get them... There have been unreturned hugs on both sides these past few months and I have to say they STINK!

Also, a long enough hug (stuff I've read varies, but anywhere from 6-30 seconds) can release oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin. These are "feel good" hormones and neurotransmitters. I want my husband to associate GOOD things with me, which is just one reason I allow the hugs and haven't stopped them.


Turtlegirl, I say that if HE wants to hug you (no matter the reason he gives-that whole not believing 100% of what they say!), enjoy it if you can. I understand how it can feel good AND stress you out at the same time, though.

I hope I helped you some... Have a good week, okay? One day at a time! smile

-FH

Me: 36
H: 42
M: 13.5
T: 15
No kids; 3 cats
IDLY: Mid-Jul 2012
I Give In: Early Oct 2012