I'm so conflicted...I'm leaning towards D, but I hate to break up the family. But isn't it worse for kids to see us in a relationship where one S disrespects the other to such a degree?
If you are considering D or walking, then give him an ultimatum. There are so many of us here that so wish our spouse had done that and given us a chance to make real changes. But usually the WAS waits until they are completely done to say anything. So pull your H aside, tell him you're at the end of your rope and that you need to see immediate changes if he wants any hope of reconcilation. And those changes would include dropping OW and giving you full access to his phone and computer activity. If you're considering D you really don't have anything to lose through an ultimatum, and you could very well gain a loving H focused on your needs instead of his own.
