Mixed Signals From Walk-Away-Husband

[FierceHope]

Thanks for the extensive list of ideas, AnotherStander! Wow... I live in a small, rural town right now, but that doesn't mean there is nothing to do!

And thank you for explaining more about Tough Love, chatterbug. I can definitely see where you are right about that. I DO need to set some boundaries... And I will work on that, too. I just need to get past feeling like if I do that, then there's no hope. But, right now, what have I to lose? He doesn't want to be married to me, and I don't think I could maintain a friendship with him afterwards, so why NOT start as I mean to end? I think the only thing holding me back right now is that it's just NICE having him here at all! And that isn't strong of me, and I need to be strong, or there NEVER will be a chance at reconciliation! This is quite probably the hardest thing I've ever tried... <slump>

So, I'm working on being less available to my husband for right now... Boundaries and Tough Love to come later...

Here is Friday's "Journal" (for lack of a better description):

Anyway, I work about 45 minutes from home, in a small city (or large town?). I agreed to run an errand for my husband after work on Friday (it benefited me, too, so it wasn't all about him!), and he asked me to let him know when I was headed to the store (long story about WHY he needed to know, but he did). So, after work I went to the mall instead, and pretty much just browsed around a bookstore for about an hour and a half or so. When I called to let him know I was headed to the place, he was surprised it took this long! He had expected me to call RIGHT after work! Hah!

So, when I got home, he had already fed our cats, and given medicine to the one who needs it. I unwound a bit, took a shower, and started settling in to our "normal" routine. So, I stopped and called my friend instead. She invited me over, so I left. I can't remember if he asked where I was going, but since it was getting late, and I only have the one friend locally, it isn't hard to figure out. Plus, all our marital issues aside, my husband isn't dumb. I hung out with her for a couple hours, and then headed home. My husband and I watched a TV show or two and headed to bed... Nightly hug, holding hands, and a confused me as usual.

I'm torn between kicking him out of our bedroom because of my pride and the whole "Tough Love" thing... And what my DB coach Laurie told me about asking myself if what I am about to do or say will bring him close or push him away! I don't KNOW if kicking him out of our bed would make him realize what he is going to lose or if it would just simply plant his feet more firmly in the direction he says he wants! And it's ALL because of these mixed signals from him...

<groan>