Here we go again...

[someguy1233]

Friday night W brought up relationship talk after I got S to bed.

She said her mom asked her how things were going. She told her we haven’t killed each other and that we're in a holding pattern with her job and stuff. She said we’re not really working on anything related to our relationship. I struggle with this because how can we be in a holding pattern if she thinks she may quit working and stay home??? This is a HUGE financial and lifestyle change.

She also told her mom that I’ve been a “saint” for not pressuring her to make a decision. She said she’s still not ready to make a decision. She said she’s also not in a hurry to make a decision. She’s “not rushing off to find another guy and have a kid.” Maybe I should see this as progress? Two weeks ago she said her “end goal” hadn’t changed and that she didn’t want to be together. Now she said she needs to decide.

She asked if I’d always thought that we were going to work things out. I told her I hadn’t put a lot of thought into it and that I’d been spending my time working on myself.

She again brought up her complaints with our daily commute. I told her I was open to moving depending on where WE are in our relationship.

She said she doesn't feel we're back to normal. I agreed. She said we're missing something and she doesn't know how to articulate what it is. She said she hopes we can figure it out. She said, “I like you.”

She said she no longer feels panicked. She also said she doesn’t feel like drinking every night… that’s why she’s been home more. She also said she doesn’t feel like she has to move out anymore.

Twice she sat down close to me on the couch and snuggled in while talking.

Saturday we went out to a bar we used to hang out at years ago. It was in celebration of my birthday. She put on her wedding ring because she “didn’t want to look like my mistress.” (She hasn’t worn it since we got home) We had a pretty good time. She said, “it’s weird to be on date with your estranged husband.” She wouldn't really elaborate on what weird meant. When we got home she sat on my lap and said “happy birthday (nickname). I love you.” She gave me a kiss on the cheek..

Yesterday she went out with friends for about 4-5 hours. She came home and gave me a big hug. She said, “you’re the only person capable of giving a hug with no emotion.” I guess I was receiving her hug, but really wasn’t giving it back. I didn’t really feel like it, but I gave her a better hug back anyway. She didn’t make any comments about WHY she was hugging.

She updated our November calendar at home. She did put Retrouvaille on there for next weekend, so I guess she’s still planning to go.

I honestly don’t know what to do or how to act. I could really use some advice. Do I continue with the DB tactics since she’s still unsure about or future? How does DB’ing combine with whatever is taught in Retrouvaille?