Doesn't quite fit in any category covered in here

[PeteWyo]

IMHO this could be a good thing. Is this the same counselor you went to before or someone new? There are a lot of bad counsellors out there. Is this someone that you know that will give advice in line with what you and your wife believe? It took me a while to admit it, but MC only works if you both want to fix it, at least most of the time. I finally got my W to agree to it, but she was only going because she was certain that the MC would tell us we couldn't fit it. Then the MC told us this was all very fixable. Still afterwards, all my W heard was that we could only fix it if we both wanted to try. Your W isn't interested in 'fixing' your marriage, as hard as it is to grasp. She has no interest in rekindling what you had. That is why she left. Your hope lies in the fact that you can start a brand new R with her. For whatever reason, rational or not, she doesn't want what you had. At least not in the end. So my advice to you is to figure out what changed. If it was that you were more exciting when you got married, then do something about that. If it was that you started to argue, then figure out why. Take those revelations to the MC. Maybe she will at least see you had your 'eureka' moment. That isn't going to fix everything magically overnight. But couple that with her seeing you make lasting changes about those things and it may be a good thing. No matter what you do, do NOT make this a bashing session on her. If she has things to work on, then that is something that she will need to deal with in her next R. Hopefully that is with you. But let's see if you can't get some sort of R started first, right now you don't have that. She made it clear to you that she doesn't want that right now. So show her that you at least are acknowledging that SOMETHING needs to change. Sorry for the long post. It is strange for this advice to be coming out of my mouth when I am in the same boat with you! We can all support another in some respect though. Stay strong!