I feel this situation is different because I left her and while split she got a BF. So Its not an affair. It may be sort of the same, but not the same. I am the one now that wants to try and save marriage.
I hear that I just need to GAL. It is very difficult at the moment. I have a job, I lift weights, I am attending School, I fish with my son, I just went to Vegas, I went to my friends birthday bash at a pub on Friday night. -Seems like I have a life. I am quite busy.
I will try to stick with you guys. I read DR twice. I have goals.
"Am I Too Late" Thanks for the clarification about DBT.
I think I am off moderation now.
------------------------- Another element I should mention is that we work at the same place, so we have to see each other quite a bit. So... This morning she confided in me that she is beating herself up, and that its not fair that I want her and she is "supposed" to not proceed with new guy. My son was mad at her for having OM at house. She is still pretty upset about that. Later on we had another chat when she asked me how I was doing, I was sad. I asked her how she was doing, she said ok and then proceeded to say she is not interested in me moving back in or being in a relationship with me, also that she is not interested in any physical relation. I wasn't even asking about these things she was just saying this stuff.
One of my 180's is to listen to her and ask her about her day and how she is feeling.
Also we spent a lot of time together over the weekend with our son. We went out to dinner with our son, we had drinks together at her house. No relationship talk. I've been reading 5 love languages. While I was watching our son at her house I mowed her lawn and did the dishes, while she went out with her mom to eat and shop. Is that good or bad? She was happy about it.
So what should I do in couples therapy tomorrow?
Me-41, W-41, S-9, Married 20, Separated 11-11, OM 10-12.
