Kim, I came across your post. Sorry you're going through this...My H had an A and it was the worst thing I had to go through in my life.
I noticed you registered in 2005. Were you having problems in your M back then?
Q for you: what were the risk factors that you think led to your H's 1st affair? Are those risk factors present now? What are they? If the factors are still present, an A is likely to happen again.
Your H probably cares about you and the kids, and he probably sees the same issues with the two of you splitting. I would not be able to trust my H again if he cheated again (I guess that won't be happening bc he filed for D a month ago.) You'll have to do some serious soul-searching and decide if this has crossed your bottom line. Did you ever communicate to your H that cheating again would mean the end of your M?
Lots to think about. Stay strong, and wait till you're calm to think about this stuff.
