I'm so sorry Regret. Try to stay calm in the face of the storm. Come here to vent, scream, and whatever else you need, but stay strong and calm around your H.
Unfortunately, I think this is going to be tough going for a while and how it goes it going to be dependent (at least in part) on how well you control your emotions and DB.
I think boundaries are going to be extremely important, but I haven't gotten my head wrapped around that very well so I'll leave the "how to do that" advice to others.
I'd suggest you check out Denver's story. Not everyone agrees with his approach, but if you're going to confront the EA/PA head on, it's worth reading what worked for him.
I'd also consider getting yourself a DB coach. I was just about ready to walk out the door when I finally got one, and it changed my entire mindset.
