Total Eclipse by Dan Band

[2chiquitos]

My last thread closed out so here's a new one.

My story,
H left because he said I was too resentful. I had found many hints of an affair. Shortly after, I discovered a full on EA/PA. He said he wasn't coming back because too much damage had been done.

For 6mos I thought I was DB but I was only doing it to see changes in his behavior towards me. The changes were minimal. When I discovered H n OW vacationed together, I felt as if I had just discovered the affair all over again. A lot of backsliding happened then.

I took DB seriously in Feb which is when I also started going to Al Anon, we started going to MC, I started going to IC that focused on cognitive behavioral therapy, H started to go to a 12 step program and continued with his IC. This helped tremendously. There were huge strides every month in us individually and as a couple.

Jumping to now, he still communicates with OW. Says he sees hope in us reconciling but still believes that if he were to come back tomorrow, my resentment would cause him to leave again.

More recently,
S4 will be having surgery in 9days (Nov 14). I had asked H to spend the week at our house post op to help out since S4 will have a catheter for a week. Now, I'm not too sure about this. I worry that we (the kids and I) will have a difficult time seeing him leave when the week is over. More heartache.

Thank you Bustingout for stopping by on the last thread. I do feel scared and worried about S4 but I need to let go and give up to the doctors and God. I wish I had more control but none whatsoever.

Thank you Brklynmom for stopping by!! I haven't heard from you in such a long time! How are you??? n your girls???
I totally agree with the condition, if he doesn't plan on making solid attempts to reconcile/commit then he shouldn't spend the night. About my family, I would rather do this alone then bring them into this. They seriously disrupt my serenity with their judgement.

Now my thing is, how do I break it to him. UGH! I hate that I care more about how he's going to take this than what's important for me and my kids! This is not helpful!