I don't think he was saying to discourage visitation. Merely to set some boundaries so that it is productive and positive rather than being something that makes one parent feel uncomfortable. My H knows he can visit or take them at any time he would like. However, I do ask he give me a days notice and let me know when he will pick up and drop off. That is what I would ask of ANYONE. Not just H. I don't think that just allowing the spouse to come and go as they please with no real expectations is really good for anyone.
