My story - help please

[theUF]

I dropped of S this evening and she was now calm and relaxed. Good. Great actually.

I feel there is no change here though, she gives no signs of changing directions. So today I was a bit more genuin. Or authentic as Tumbling put it. I feel a bit more confident, and maybe the fear of doing the wrong thing is gradually fading?

I told her I was confused at her overboard attacks.
Why this behaviour?
"Are you finding this more difficult than you thought?"
"Do you just want me out of your life as fast as possible?"
"Any other reason?"

She just said she wanted to get things in order quickly.
I told her getting angry is ok, but going overboard and name-calling is not. Sometimes we have to control ourselves.

She "mentioned" me never listening in our R and that I still don't.
I know I listen more, but I also know I have a lot of work on that aspect.

When she got upset in our phone conv I told her I understood this might not be easy for her either, but that she needed to keep her head together.
She brought this up, said she was sick and tired of everybody feeling sorry for her, telling her how this must be hard.

I told her "with all due respect, I said I understood, I tried making sense of your actions. But YOU made this decision, these are your own choices. If there is anyone who shouldn't feel sorry for you, it's gonna be me"

I almost couldn't believe it. She leaves me and dissolve our family, and she is annoyed because she thinks I feel sorry for her?

She also says she doesn't need help from anyone. I told her it's ok to need some help from time to time, we all do. She didn't agree.