I agree. Ironically we really didn't start fighting until we split up. Even my S14 mentioned this. We were actually doing fairly well or seemed to be improving until early this week. I need to go back I guess and try to also figure out what has triggered this latest animosity. I think it goes back to the conversation on Tuesday the 30th when he told me he was still talking to xw1 and sort of felt he had found his true love again. He said - i sort of thought so. Since then he has been ultra confrontational every time we have spoken. He also did the whole revision of history spiel. Of course I did argue back and tried to get him to I guess acknowledge more of the reality than what he had convinced himself. I also sort of shut down and didn't complete the normal pattern of fighting on the phone. There was a point on Friday where things were fairly calm and I told him I was not willing to work on anything so long as he is talking to and seeing OW regardless of who OW was. There have been times when I wondered if he has blown up r with xw1 to simply antagonize me. I could be wrong though. At one point he did say I'm not with you and I'm not with her. I'm not with anyone. So I have no idea and really it doesn't matter except that I am trying to figure out why he became so nasty.
As far as custody/visitation I have asked repeatedly about a schedule and he has rejected that. My thoughts are perhaps ow schedule is not quite so open and he is concerned about being stuck in a schedule and not see her. Of course this my guess. I have no way to know if it is true. Obviously he is not forthcoming. As it stands now he generally has been very good about coming when I ask or need him to. Frankly that is pretty rare though. And they need to see him more than that. My impression really is that he wants his weekends to himself.
So. What can I read that explains validating better? I always felt as thought hat meant agreeing.
