That's why I told her I was making plans the night she goes to the bday party. She's not happy about me taking the car but I don't care, I'm not going to sit home waiting for her.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Right, which is why I don't care that she has to find a ride to the party. I'm going to try and avoid being an a-hole tomorrow and Sun but think I'm going to just disappear with the car.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Yesterday around 3pm she had tried calling me but I couldn't pick up. Texted her and she went ahead and told me that a rock had hit the windshield from a big truck but it didn't break.
I decide to go with the caring side and ask if they're alright and she says yes, just scared her. I tell her I'm glad she's ok and that's what's really important. We don't talk the rest of the day after that.
This morning she comes home while I'm making myself breakfast and says she tried calling me. My phone didn't go off so I don't know what happened. She tells me that the kids are going to an event for a kids bday today that she had forgotten about until they told her and tomorrow is a pool party for the same kid. She's heading back out the door and tells me to have a good day.
I wish her a good day and then say, "do you know when you'll be back because I might want the car tonight." This catches her off-guard and she tells me that she will have to figure out how to drop off the car because she doesn't want to sit in the house alone. I tell her that I don't want to sit alone either and if her and the kids aren't going to be around I'm going out. She says she'll text me b/c she doesn't know when she'll have to pick up the kids and she'll need to take them to the pool party tomorrow. She repeats that she'll text me and I just say "yeah"...but it is in a dismissive tone b/c I'm getting upset and need her to just leave before I lose my cool.
When I get to work I text her, "So that neither of us have to sit around alone and figuring out rides isn't so tough we could rent a few movies just hang out until we need to pick up the kids, what do you think?" No response so far.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Her: Its gonna but oh well I can't make you take your bike if you want the suv I got to do what I got to do.
Me: That's why I made other suggestions. I enjoy your company so if you want to hang out at home with me or go out with me you can and we'll work around picking up the kids. If not it's ok, it's up to you.
Her: I'm good
Me: Alright
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Me: I know you've had a lot going on and this was just kind of sprung on you. I don't want to keep stressing you our and making you feel like crap or that I'm trying to control you. Use the SUV however you need today.
Her: Ok thank you very much it means a lot to me
Me: I'm going to rent a couple of movies from redbox, if you want to join me you're welcome to.
Her: Ok
So, MrBond, I know you've said that I shouldn't and MMSL would say the same thing, that the alpha move would be to take my car and head out for the day and DB says I should go GAL on my own.
Here's the thing, up until I said this last part I was feeling like an [censored] and had a pit in my stomach for what I was doing. So, no mindreading? No snooping? If my friend hadn't been feeding me info about my GF bad-mouthing me how would I react? I would be mindful that she is depressed, stressed, hurt from what's happened in our R, and unsure of me. If I'm the "old me" I would be doing everything I could to alleviate stress, to help her feel better, to be the guy she comes to and vent rather then the person she is venting about.
The way I seee it, a 180 is me being the "old me" and maintaing the alpha is that I say this is what I'm doing and if you want to join me fine but it won't hurt my feelings if you don't. Since it is really cold and I have to bundle up on the bike I'm going to grab some movies that I can chill out and enjoy, just relax for the day. If she shows up and joins me then fine, if not I'm just going to make the best of my day and not worry about where she is or what she's doing.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Yup, she didn't sleep at home last night and it bothered the f**k out of me. What I can't figure out is if it's her not being around or me just feeling taken advantage of being the nice guy letting her use the car. She comes home briefly to have one kid change for the bday party and then off again. Little spat about the car again and I just don't know anymore.
I'm trying, really trying, to convince myself to be positive that what she tells me to my face, that she's just not sure and is trying and is watching me, is the truth and if I stick with DB I'll eventually be a better person and also get her back.
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
