Spending a lot of time here this morning trying to get my head back in the game. I am emotionally wrung out and exhausted and not at my best. Spent a lot of time maniacally cleaning yesterday which can only mean I'm working through massive anxiety.
I have to remember that the crux of DB is to be a mental ninja - to do a bit of mind over matter and live for ourselves. I've done a good job of this over the last 5 months, but I'm still feeling highly emotionally stressed and my game face is wearing thin.
I have worked so hard over the past 2 months especially to put things right in our family. We're back to family time now which is wonderful for the boys but I am still feeling emotionally lost and it's getting harder and harder to hide that.
The hardest thing to swallow is all the effort I have put in over the last 2 months has not seemed to make any difference to H. He keeps telling me that he appreciates things but I have yet to really feel it from him.
Have to work on detachment this week. I can't live like this anymore.
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
