There'll be no white flag above my door-not yet La

[labug]

Hi Bugsy! Just read your post and I know that you are hurting, deeply right now. But I don't fault you for initiating the R discussion. At some point, somewhere down the line, a relationship in limbo has to come to a conclusion, one way or another.

I think that in the many months we DB'rs work to improve ourselves and our R's with our WAS's, we also stand in fear of the eventuality of our marriages coming to a complete and unrecoverable end. During the time we work on ourselves, we hold out hope that our WAS is doing the same, but that is rarely the case. From their POV, they've already done the work. Right or wrong, that is their opinion and we have to live with that.

But, over time as the fear dissipates, we become emboldened to make things move again. Someone once posted to my thread the following: "lose the fear, lose the limbo."

It would seem to me that you have lost the fear, that you are ready to move forward and chart a beautiful future for yourself. I applaud your courage and determination and I know great things will happen to the new and improved Bugsy!!

Thanks for popping in from your crazy jet-setting life!

You're right, getting past fear and letting go of outcomes is key. My fingers had to be pried one by one off the hold I had on "the way things are supposed to be" but now I feel very free.

You'll get there.